Seasons Under Heaven by Beverly LaHaye

Author:Beverly LaHaye [Beverly LaHaye Terri Blackstock ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780310873716
Publisher: Zondervan

CHAPTER

Twenty-Three

As David watched over Joseph, who slept soundly in his hospital room, Brenda went to the chapel to have a word with God. Kneeling at the altar at the front of the room, she gave in to the heartbreak and despair closing over her. But as earnestly as she prayed, those prayers didn’t feel as if they connected.

What is it, God? she asked fervently. Is there some sin in my life that’s keeping You from hearing me? She had confessed everything she could think of—even the despair that, she feared, demonstrated a lack of faith. But she did have faith. She knew that God would do His will in her family. She just didn’t think that will was going to coincide with hers. Desperately, angrily, she pleaded for mercy, for healing, for God to align His will more closely with hers.

Then she chastised herself for such a selfish prayer. Would it make God turn away and quit listening altogether?

When the door opened, Brenda turned and saw Sylvia coming toward her. She got up to give the older woman a hug, unable to hide the despair on her face.

“David said you’d be here,” Sylvia said.

They sat down on the front pew, and Sylvia gave Brenda a handkerchief. Thankfully, Brenda blew her nose and wiped her face.

“Brenda, I know how hard this must be for you,” Sylvia said. “You must just be a wreck.”

“I am,” Brenda admitted.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Brenda shrugged. “You can explain some things to me, maybe.” She could see on Sylvia’s face that she knew some of the questions she had. That she had struggled with the answers herself.

“The elders prayed over him at church,” Brenda said, her eyes glistening with tears. “We prayed for healing, and it didn’t come.”

“I know,” Sylvia said. She touched her shoulder, squeezed it, and wiped her own eyes with her other hand.

“I did that against David’s will. He has this…this thing…against church. It goes back to his childhood. He warned me not to do it, because he thought it would traumatize Joseph. But I did it anyway, without telling him. I thought it was the right thing to do, and what David didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I think that’s what messed things all up, my doing it against David’s will. God didn’t honor it.”

“Oh, honey.” Sylvia made her look up at her. “God wouldn’t punish you for following his own instructions. That’s not what’s wrong. Brenda, God’s not a genie in a bottle. He doesn’t answer prayers on demand. If God chooses not to heal Joseph, it must be for some other reason than that. I’m sure you prayed about it before you asked for the elders to pray for Joseph. I’m sure you thought it was one of those times when you have to serve God before your husband.”

“I did. I thought that, Sylvia.”

“Our prayers aren’t buttons we push to get the results we want, Brenda. It’s all tied into God’s will. We don’t see the whole picture, but He does.

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